Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
