would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
