You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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