shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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