Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
