One girl and one boy is just not enough.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
