OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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