I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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