Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
