We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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