so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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