i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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