Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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