My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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