that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
