Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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