So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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