ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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