Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
