After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
