'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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