About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
