I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
