It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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