Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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