i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize