Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
