Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
