I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
