Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
