u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
