eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
not ubering you a puppy
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
