You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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