And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I'm really busy with my period
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