I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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