Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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