fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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