can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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