Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
