He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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