so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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