I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
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