I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
