just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
