grandma shit on top of the toilet
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
