I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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