i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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