I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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