i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
