apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I have post one night stand depression
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