why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
