Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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