There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
