Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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