I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm like, not good at living.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
