i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
