My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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