rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
