Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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