Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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