She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
