Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
