The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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