Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
