She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
