ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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