I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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