I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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