dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wish they made helmets for livers.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
