I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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